aleng's journal

YESS!!!
The moment of the year when you just go around get ang paos is coming. 
Well, I've always loved CNY not for the ang paos. I just like the feeling of reunion. You know, especially being more busy now despite with all the studies I'm going through, I'm even more distant from my family. Well, I've always been a shut in, but I still have a heart for my family too. Plus, I just freaking love playing fireworks, so I'm bound to enjoy playing fireworks with my little cousins when I get back to my kampoeng, and let my inner child go out with no shame. 'Cause let's be honest, your aunts and uncles need one nephew or niece who knows how to get along with kids so they can drink happily and talk about politics and stuffs (Argh... adult stuffs).

And again... complaining about how time flies so god damn fast, like seriously... it feels like last week we set off fireworks for the countdown, and now February is coming up? I don't know, maybe I'm just overthinking stuffs. 

And.. the Panic! At The Disco is now a solo band, but that doesn't stop Urie from making this album a huge thing. Well, before we start off, click on play in that Spotify list I prepared for this post.

Done..?
OK, let's start

So far, Panic! At The Disco has always changed their music style in every album they release, although they still retain their rock style. Anyhow, in this album, it's more on pop rock, pop, and hip hop. And to be honest, for Urie to work on this album on his own, it's amazing. Every track managed to give me goosebumps (in a good way), and I must say, this album might actually save me from my addiction to Troye Sivan's Blue Neighbourhood. It started strong, as expected from Panic! At The Disco. Some songs sound quite opera-pop-rock, like Emperor's New Clothes, which is apparently my favorite from the track list. Other tracks that I would consider "Stuck in my head for quite a while" would be Victorious, Crazy=Genius, and Impossible Year. Victorious is just powerful, in my point of view, and it does shows off Urie's powerful vocals (same goes for Emperor's New Clothes). In Crazy=Genius, Urie shows his humorous side, and I'll be honest, it ain't that bad. Impossible Year just relates to me, and I guess that's why it's one of my favourite.

It will be hard for Urie to keep this up alone, but this album just makes me feel like he might be able to keep this band alive. Keep it up Urie!! 

Well, it was a huge break from blogging, but yeah... HERE I AM!! *confetti... claps..*

Anyhow, it's already like 2 weeks from new year, so I guess Happy Late New Year..?
I had been busy with studies and some personal stuffs, and it just keeps me away from things I want to do in the mean time. Oh yeah, Terraria is also partially to blame for my disappearance.
Still, there isn't really much to share what happened to me during Christmas or New Year, since I spent those days doing my report. Yes, I killed my "festive" side to do my work, so I can focus on the assessment which was the upcoming after the submission of my report.
It was a small sacrifice, to not see the fireworks and enjoy the fake snow in USS, for my report, but in the end, I get what I deserved for, more time to prepare my assessments and do extra researches on it. I always see the positive side, although at some point of life, I will feel so down that I literally can't see the bright side of everything even if my surrounding was brighten. That had happened a lot, and yes, thanks to my friends who gave me the courage to stand back up after such a painful fall, I am still here, typing all my emotions without exposing too much at the same time.

Well, after looking back at my past, and also with the help of some of my friends dissecting my emotions, I do realize that we, as human, tend to abuse the messages we understand in life. For instance, we all know "Nothing lasts forever", but that doesn't mean when you made a mistake you just leave it as it is.
Yes, I am also one of those person who probably had abused some meaningful quotes. However, do remember that you do you, quotes are just there to inspire and spice your life. You are the one who can change your perspective, but of course, I still have a long journey ahead to lead. It may not be smooth, but at least I learn from my lesson and adapt to it.

Well, I never actually thought that I would share some of my feelings here, but probably just to give some updates ('cause I'm not dead yet) and also to inspire people a bit, so that they won't fall into the same mistake as I have done.

I may not have celebrated 2015's last seconds with a smile, but at least I learned something valuable that will ensure a smoother journey, and if you ask me "Is it worth all the pain?", I would say "Depends", 'cause life is fairly unfair. Sometimes what you do is what you get, sometimes you have to work harder to get what you want, sometimes you don't even have to do anything to get something. It all depends, but in the end, it still depends on your perspective. To me, all the depression and heart wrenching days were painful, and I have always wished that Death can come faster, but in the end, with all the supports and company, I manage to get up and learn from the past and eventually level up. So was the pain worth it? You decide.